Christmas questions

1. Have you been naughty or nice this year? I've been nice... by default. I haven't been able to cause the trouble I normally would.

2. What do you want most for Christmas? well... world peace or a memory card for my new camera

3. What is your favorite Christmas movie? National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, it never fails to make me laugh

4. Have you started your Christmas shopping yet? yes..

5. Have you finished your Christmas shopping yet? no ... but I really need to fast!

6. What is your favorite Christmas song? it depends... My Grown Up Christmas List, especially by Michael Bublé is near the top

7. What is your favorite Christmas tv special? Rudolph

8. What is your favorite way to wrap gifts? I usually wait until Christmas Eve to get everything bagged and boxed up. I "collect" wrapping paper and have probably seventy-five various rolls, plus a ribbon shredder and all the acoutrements that go with it...

9. What do you look forward to most at Christmas? the lights and decorations

10. What are you doing for Christmas this year? I actually don't know! I assume I'll go to Dad's during the day but... things are a bit up in the air for the rest.

11. Who do you want to kiss under the mistletoe? George Clooney

12. What kind of Christmas tree do you have? a beautiful, yet artificial tree that used to be my grandmother's... but I'm not putting it up this year, instead I have a 3 foot fiber optic baby!

13. Do you take part in a secret santa? oh, yes!!! I LOVE to.

14. Do you go to any Christmas parties? yes--usually a faculty party, an ornament swap, a book swap and a brunch

15. Have you ever had a white Christmas? ha ha ha... the question should be have we ever had a green Christmas

16. How early do you wake up on Christmas morning? oh, not very... anymore.

17. Do you still get a stocking? nope

18. How many Christmas cards do you normally send out? oh... about three dozen or so get mailed. Last year, my sister taught me how to make them and I had a blast doing that.

the Christmas survey

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? definitely hot chocolate--I drink it year-round

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Wraps them... although, lately "he" gift bags them

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? gold and red on the tree, none on the house

4. Do you hang mistletoe? when I have someone special to smooch

5. When do you put your decorations up? usually mid-December because I leave them up until Epiphany

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? chex mix, Grammy's peanut clusters or cupa-cupa-cupa

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? uhmmmmm... playing our "family" Christmas album with my sisters and dancing around, or singing or whatever we did to entertain ourselves--when I hear the album now, it really takes me back

8. Best gift you've given to someone? I am not sure--I like to think I'm a thoughtful gift-giver

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? we used to

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? gold and red lights (about a thousand lights) and burnished gold beads and red velvet bows

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Love it, but when it starts to get real cold I dread it!

12. Can you ice skate? I used to... donno if I can anymore

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? my friend Melissa gave me a red leather overnight bag that I'd been lusting after for a long time... it was a great surprise, I almost started bawling!

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? taking time to reflect and find peace.

15. Your favorite Holiday Dessert? (just one?) red velvet cake

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? riding around Christmas Eve to look at the luminaries

17. What tops your tree? a large red velvet bow

18. Which do you prefer Giving or Receiving? giving--I love everything about it--shopping, picking up just the right gift, wrapping... all of it

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? My Grown Up Christmas List and Christmas Spirit... actually, I have a lot of them... these are two I especially like

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum? yum--especially Bob's brand (the really soft melt-in-your-mouth stix)

dublin, ireland

Sitting here, listening to U2--Eighteen Singles, thinking about how these songs truly are the soundtrack of my life... Today I was talking about when I lived in Ireland--how the little kids would make me say their names again and again in my "American accent" like it was such a treat. There are often times I wish I was still there, or going back there. What if I had stayed? I certainly thought about it.

You Belong in Dublin

Friendly and down to earth, you want to enjoy Europe without snobbery or pretensions. You're the perfect person to go wild on a pub crawl... or enjoy a quiet bike ride through the old part of town.

What European City Do You Belong In?

what kind of soul are you?

I don't know what got into the students today but wowzer! They were off the wall... how annoying? I'm heading to bed now, I had planned to go about a half hour ago but, I got blogging and MySpacing with some students. The fun never ends.

You Are a Peacemaker Soul

You strive to please others and compromise anyway you can.War or conflict bothers you, and you would do anything to keep the peace.You are a good mediator and a true negotiator.Sometimes you do too much, trying so hard to make people happy. While you keep the peace, you tend to be secretly judgmental.You lose respect for people who don't like to both give and take.On the flip side, you've got a graet sense of humor and wit.You're always dimplomatic and able to give good advice. Souls you are most compatible with: Warrior Soul, Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

stuff I've done

The idea is simple ... copy, bold the things you’ve done and post.

Here are mine:
01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

weekend sadness...

I suppose it's perfectly normal for me to feel so blah about vacation being over and going back to school. I kinda don't want to go. I do know it's getting closer to Christmas vacation and I have that to look forward to.

This week I need to have blood work done and check in with my doctor about the med changes. I think I need something for depression as well as the anxiety stuff, though. I'm feeling edgy. And hopeless. I don't know if hopeless is really it, it's tough to define/describe. Apathetic, disconnected. Something that combines all of those into a great big "Don't care."

I watched three movies this weekend: Lucky Number Slevin, Friends With Money, and Thank You For Smoking. What a range of movies--Slevin was kinda cool, but weird, too, and I admit I was a bit bored. I love Morgan Freeman. FWM was... a bit boring although there were some awesome performances. And TYFS was so dark, it was amusing and didn't bore me. I still have a stack of movies from Dad, I need to watch those sometime.

My current read is missing seventeen pages. It freaked me out this morning. I flipped around to see if they were mis-bound or something but they just aren't there. I emailed the publisher. Hopefully something can be done about it, it's kind of a crucial part of the book where the stories are in the major denouement.

It was way out of the ordinary yesterday to get so many phone calls. And today I had a few, too. I'll go all month with none and then the phone will ring off the hook. I wish I enjoyed it more, I think I'm being rude because I just don't have much to say on the phone.

I suppose, I need to get ready for school. Pick out what to wear, to save myself the morning drama. I should check the weather so I know what to expect, as much as can be expected. I need to check my calendar, too, to figure out what's up. No therapy this week--no group this week, and just when I really have things to talk about. Oh well, it's progress, it's growth.

What if this is as good as it gets.

sat8 :: tryptophan highs, baby.

this week, we're talking turkey. **This comes from the Saturday8 and I edited out the alternate questions for those who don't celebrate Thanksgiving.


1. so, how was thanksgiving for you this year? relaxing? fraught with tension? give us the scoop. I would say this was one of the better Thanksgivings we've had. It was relaxing, delicious, there was limited tension, even though there were a few awkward moments and all in all it was relaxing. My only huge issue was that I was physically unable to do much to help and I miss the traditions that go along with helping.


2. did you give any of your money to Black Friday yesterday, either in-person or online? I sure did!!! I love to shop when there are frenzied crowds around and the deals can't be beat. I start shopping so early that I am mostly done by the time BF rolls around, so I don't feel the frenzy and am not pressured to buy buy buy. I did a little bit of online stuff... the big news for me is that I bought myself a digital camera!


3. with christmas and hanukkah being a few weeks away, do you have any holiday shopping done this year yet? I have most of it done. I need to hustle to get the Italy packages ready to go soon, though.


4. are you taking any trips this holiday season? where to, or why not? Well, because I am still travel-restricted, I guess I'm going to hang around here. I would have liked to take a trip to see either of my sisters who "are away" but I think I might be needed closer to home. And that's good, I don't need to get overtired during the holidays.


5. i'm going to iceland in a few weeks where the weather is actually very temperate (30s). every time i tell someone i'm going there, i hear "iceland is green, and greenland is ice." seriously, it's getting aggravating and i feel like i'm just going to punch someone if i hear it again. what is someone (or people in general) doing/saying lately that is wearing on your last nerve? Sometimes it just drives me crazy when people talk about the weather... especially when it's well below-zero, which happens often because we live on the outskirts of the world. NO ONE likes temperatures that are below zero, so stop asking if it's cold enough!


6. today is the florida-florida state NCAA football game. The Husband is a florida alum, and i began my undergrad career at florida state (my undergrad and graduate alma maters have "questionable" - read: embarrassing - football teams). is there a rivalry that you are particularly interested in, whether it be NFL, NBA, NHL, british footie, equestrian showjumping, tanya harding vs. nancy kerrigan ... you get me. I guess being from Red Sox Nation's outer reaches gives us the natural tendency to "hate" the Yankees. I'd say the same holds true for the Patriots and Bruins, although hockey loyalty isn't as feverish as other sports.


7. my eldest child just poured 2 cups of water INTO my coffee maker, effectively giving me coloured water to drink. how important is morning coffee to you, if at all? I don't make coffee at home anymore (I'm just too lazy) so when I get coffee "out" I relish it. During the school week it seems to give me just the boost I need to be wide awake for my classes of sleepy students first thing in the morning. It could be the ritual that goes with my coffee drinking that I need more than the caffeine. But I really like coffee, love the smell, the ritual and my day is better when it starts with coffee.


8. did you take a "turkey nap" on thursday? I could barely stay awake. And today, even, I've stayed in my pajamas and have napped a lot. It's odd to test my stamina like this... and I think I'm holding up well, although today my emotions are all over the place due to being tired. I've stayed up much later almost every evening this week than I have in months!



see you next week!

romuh drawkcab...

I thought this was funny--BloggerBeta won't let me create a link to the article so I am attempting to do it myself. The blog I found this on is called The Daily Nooz...it's a great blog...

Monday, November 13, 2006

Backward humor

The Washington Post Style Invitational asked its readers to spell an actual word backward and come up with a definition for the result. Here are some of our faves:

Atnas: The man who bears the weight of the entire American economy on his shoulders. (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village)

.............

Asip: The largest amount of wine you can drink after you're already tilting 6 degrees. (Ira Allen, Bethesda)

.............

Derf: Someone whose name has become unfashionable. (Fred Dawson, Beltsville)

.............

Edun: No fig leaves in THIS garden. (Roger Dalrymple, Gettysburg, Pa.)

.............

Enigami: It's not just a crumpled-up piece of paper -- it's actually a bear, if you take the time to really look at it . . . or maybe it's a dog . . . (Brendan Beary, Great Mills)

.............

Esebo: A diet pill that doesn't work. (Tom Witte)

.............

LeMac: A sandwich made in desert outposts of the French Foreign Legion. (Mike Peck, Alexandria)

.............

Megatarts: Target of careful planning when guys go out on the town. (Jeff Brechlin, Eagan, Minn.)

.............

Pmart: Where did you think streetwalkers got those clothes? (David Franks)

.............

Yesnik: Someone who's agreeable to sex anywhere, anytime, any kind. (Tom Witte)

rate my life...

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	6.1
Mind:	6.2
Body:	5.7
Spirit:	8.6
Friends/Family:	5.6
Love:	2.1
Finance:	5.9
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

giving thanks...

I am thankful for:

• continuously improving health & insurance to make sure I get healthy
• family
• friends who feel like family
• a job with countless enjoyable moments
• the gift of listening
• the gift of writing
• the gift of reading

Today was a very, very nice day. I ate a lot. I feel guilty that I didn't help at all with the preparation or clean up. I love doing the dishes after a huge meal and I missed it--don't get me wrong, I don't like doing dishes at other times. I ate a lot. It was wonderful.

What if this is as good as it gets?

Thanksgiving blessing

Thanksgiving Blessing

Today I am so truly thankful for so many things.
I have been blessed in so many ways.
I am thankful for the wonderful country I live in,

and for all its many heroes.
I am thankful for my wonderful family and friends.
They are my greatest blessing.
I am thankful for the creatures that are put on earth for us all.
They teach us so much:

unconditional love, loyalty, and understanding.
I ask that all who suffer with illness

have this day free from pain.
I am thankful for all who have tables filled with food

and someone to share it with.
And for those that have no family or food,

Lord, I ask that You comfort them.
I am thankful for the time I had with my loved ones

that have gone on to be with You.
They shall always be loved and greatly missed.
I am thankful for allowing me to have love

and understanding in my heart.
It is these many blessings that make my humble life

happy and fulfilled.

Amen

swoon worthy...

Glory be... he IS the sexiest man alive...

I ♥ George Clooney

how to observe Thanksgiving

How to observe Thanksgiving:

Count your blessings instead of your crosses;

Count your gains instead of your losses.

Count your joys instead of your woes;

Count your friends instead of your foes.

Count your smiles instead of your tears;

Count your courage instead of your fears.

Count your full years instead of your lean;

Count your kind deeds instead of your mean.

Count your health instead of your wealth;

Count on God instead of yourself.

~~Author Unknown.~~

turkey trivia

Test your turkey trivia skills!

how thankful are you?

You Are 96% Thankful

You're an incredibly thankful person, and everyone around you feels very appreciated. You inspire people to be more optimistic, forgiving, and grateful.

How Thankful Are You?

Thanksgiving Horoscope for Scorpio

Thanksgiving Horoscope for Scorpio

You're the sign most likely to start a family fight. Your signature dish: Cranberry sauce Your signature dessert: Cherries jubilee This holiday: Keep busy baking pies or taking wagers on the football game. It's best for you to stay out of any drama!

What's" Your Thanksgiving Horoscope?

what part of thanksgiving are you?

You Are The Stuffing

You're complicated and complex, yet all your pieces fit together. People miss you if you're gone - but they're not sure why.

What Part of Thanksgiving Are You?

really funny video

Ok, I know I've already posted a couple of times tonight but I just had to share this video. Watch the special guests... oh lordy...

the five factor values test

Your Values Profile

Loyalty: You value loyalty a fair amount. You're loyal to your friends... to a point. But if they cross you, you will reconsider your loyalties. Staying true to others is important to you, but you also stay true to yourself. Honesty: You value honesty a fair amount. You're honest when you can be, but you aren't a stickler for it. If a little white lie will make a situation more comfortable, you'll go for it. In the end, you mostly care about "situational integrity." Generosity: You value generosity a fair amount. You are all about giving, as long as there's some give and take. Supportive and kind, you don't mind helping out a friend in need. But you know when you've given too much. You have no problem saying "no"! Humility: You value humility highly. You have the self-confidence to be happy with who you are. And you don't need to seek praise to make yourself feel better. You're very modest, and you're keep the drama factor low. Tolerance: You value tolerance highly. Not only do you enjoy the company of those very different from you... You do all that you can to seek it out interesting and unique friends. You think there are many truths in life, and you're open to many of them.

The Five Factor Values Test

sunday nite blues...

It's Sunday night. I've got the work blues already. What would I rather be doing, you might ask? Wellllll, my sister Marmo and her hubby are here! I would rather hang with them and their little dog, too. But, no... I have workshops at school tomorrow and Tuesday. It's going to be truly dreadful. The real dreadful, not the fake kind. Horrible, horrific, terrible, painful, excruciating...dreadful. Boring, irritating, annoying, dreadful. There better be some good coffee. Oh, wait, there is no food. That's right. Uhhuh. Nothin.

At least I got to visit with Marm & hubby (& doggy) for a while. I didn't even realize they were in town, I just happened to call Dad to see when they were expected and he said they were here and about to come over to his house for dinner so I invited myself along. He didn't mind. And it was nice to see Marm. I suppose I should call her by her name but I am so used to calling her Marmo or Marm... that, well, why change now?

We were talking about my being so darn tired. It is due to the medicine. I'll be so damn glad to stop taking it... yeeeeesh. The yawning is embarrassing.

Blue... I'm blue... I've got the Sunday night blues.

What if this is as good as it gets?

seven things

7 things I plan to do before I die: 1) skydive, 2) learn to play bridge, 3) play bunco with a group of girlfriends, 4) buy new furniture, 5) learn ballroom dance, 6) take an Alaskan cruise, 7) return to Ireland, Paris and London.

7 things I can do: 1) read and follow directions, 2) DJ on the radio, 3) I am a very good cook, 4) I can speak ubby-dubby and pig latin fluently, 5) power nap just about anywhere, 6) cheer people up, 7) write.

7 things I cannot do: 1) keep plants alive, 2) hook up electronics equipment without swearing, 3) sew, 4) act, 5) memorize text to recite, 6) read science fiction or fantasy, 7) watch a basketball game.

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex: 1) presence, 2) attentiveness and listening, 3) hands, 4) scent, 5) eye contact, 6) sense of humor, 7) intelligence

7 things that I say most: 1) ok, 2) great googley-moogley, 3) holy moly, 4) good one!, 5) when someone says, "guess what?" I do guess all kinds of things, 6) thank you, 7) please.

7 Celebrity crushes: 1) George Clooney 2) George Clooney, 3) Anderson Cooper, 4) Bono (he's more someone I admire than have a crush on), 5) George Clooney, 6) Anderson Cooper, and 7) George Clooney

yawn

I do not know why I am still awake. I should go to sleep now, stretched out in my bed. It was a long day, the students were a bit wound up because they start their vacation today. After school was reading group for the book I didn't read and probably won't bother to read. When everyone left book group, I wandered down to MW's room and hung out there reading ghastly re accreditation reports until it was time for us to head to Napoli's for Italian food. After sitting there, gabbing for three and a half hours, we went to her temporary place and sat and talked for another two hours... so I am talked out and tired out and wound down.

Gooooood night!

what if this is as good as it gets?

Thursday

01) A 'sitting in a chair' television watcher or a 'laying on a couch' television watcher? Definitely a sitting in a chair... and sadly, because of my bifocals. Jeeze, when did I become an old lady?

02) A lottery player or a lottery abstainer? a lottery abstainer due to laziness

03) Welcoming the arrival of snowy weather or dreading the arrival of snowy weather? dddrrrrrreeeeaaaaddddd

04) Lovin' the next-day pizza or diggin' the next-day spaghetti? aaah, there is nothing finer than cold pizza for breakfast!!!!!!!

05) An Oprah lover or an Oprah hater? Oprah is truly my personal hero (it says so on my profile)

06) Fast food burgers and fries or fast food fried chicken? uh... I guess burgers and fries... especially the fries!

07) About going out to eat or staying home to eat? I'm all about the going out to eat

08) Like totally wicked or like totally awesome? totally wicked... duh, I'm from Maine!

09) Cranky or whiny? cranky... unfortunately

10) Daintily dipped or scoop up a mouthful? I think this is the only time in my whole life I get to call myself dainty!

school daze...

I have had a couple of long talks with my student teacher. I think she's finally feeling more comfortable. The other teacher she's working with has some of the same observations that I do, though, that she's got to make sure she has enough small activities that there isn't much down time after the big class activity. Even if it's the ability to do a quick review or to ask the classes what is one thing (0n topic) that they've learned this week or something that makes them talk and share. I don't know how to talk to her about her body language, either. But she seems very uncomfortable to be in the front of the room without a podium or something... and heck, I don't have one. She needs to be more prepared than she looks like she is, I can't put my finger on it but there's something slipshod about her presentation, almost as if she doesn't know the material even though she assures me that she has taught this content at her previous placement. I think there are three more weeks... oy vey!

I don't like to sit during class; I seem to keep their attention better when I wander. Plus, sometimes I get restless when I sit. I'm glad my students miss me, though. They are excited for me to teach again. I'm having such a good year, I hate losing momentum with them. But, it's good for me to have a student teacher, even though it's way more work and not what I want... she can get some good pointers from me. Talking to her today, her eyes grew big and round when I talked on the fly about how to tweak the lesson she did this morning for the afternoon class, even after I suggested that she come up with some more material for them. I guess it pays that I've done this so long. I hope she learns something... something valuable and useful.

We're having workshops next week. Two whole days to work on reaccreditation. It's time to read the reports and comment on them. We'll spend time discussing and revising the reports and finally, making our list of strengths and needs for the school. I think if I could envision some positive changes coming from the process I would be more enthusiastic or on board with the whole thing. But to me, it seems like a huge waste of time, when there are so many other things I could be doing this year. Two days of reading and discussing. No one will be critical, hopefully, but I also hope that it's not all picky grammar mistakes that are being pointed out. My committee's report has gone through one draft and revision process, I hope that is all it will need. I can't imagine how dry and boring this is going to be. Ah well...

At least we've gotten permission to leave early on one of the days, that will be good, I can't imagine staying both days until three-thirty. Yeesh, that's almost like punishment. It cracked me up that our superintendent emailed us to say we could leave early a couple of times, as though he didn't owe us the hour--because conference day went beyond our contracted time.

We'll leave a bit early and feel like we're getting some kind of bargain out of it. Maybe it will put everyone in a good mood, I just don't even know what to expect.

On another note, the Soc class is really excited about their music video project! That makes me happy. I think they can create some really amazing things and hopefully will really push the envelope in terms of choosing themes. I hope the buddy-system works for them, too. I would truly be disappointed if someone fails me on this and doesn't bother to do it. Friday is a hug-off day with them, that will be fun. We were talking about the statistics that say we each need eleven hugs per day and some of the kids came right up to hug me... and I think I may have mentioned a few times how much I love a hug. I got the best hug ever today which was awesome.

What if this is as good as it gets?

chocolate...mmmmmm

I think I gotta lay of the chocolate for a while. I've been eating more candy than any other food group lately, and that's not good. I'm feeling very bitchy, too, which probably is more PMS than anything. But candy and PMS... not a good combination.

I don't have individual therapy this week, just group and I'm feeling lonely just thinking of going a week without. It's actually going to be a couple of weeks before I have individual again. I hope I can manage the holiday and my sister's visit without the support of therapy.

It's been weird at school this week. It's Tuesday but it feels as though it's later in the week. Is that from having a long weekend? Maybe. But it feels like it's hard to get into the swing.

I finally had a very good conversation with my student teacher today. I think she was waiting to get permission before she tried doing something that she created all on her own. I told her, though, that if I wanted the kids to use all of my materials I would teach myself, instead of letting her try. So, we talked about what the outcome needs to be and I gave her some suggestions for activities and we brainstormed together, and it felt good. She seemed relieved. I'm not sure how she missed that to begin with but I was so busy with grades and the grade book problems and all the little fires everywhere that maybe I just didn't make her feel welcome enough. I donno. Hard to say. It will be interesting to see what she comes up with on her own. And it's not her fault, completely, I didn't want and wasn't prepared for a student teacher.

Anyhow, I'm still battling the fatigue. I just can't seem to stay awake and am sleeping through my alarm clock. I don't know if it's medication or lack of exercise or what. I'll be so happy when the costochondritis clears up. Oy, that has been so limiting and frustrating. I just want my body back to normal--is that too much to ask?

What if this is as good as it gets?

it's moanday

what's your dosha?

Your Dosha is Pitta

You have a quick mind, a gift for persuasion, and a sharp sense of humor. You have both the drive and people skills to be a very successful leader. Argumentative and a bit stubborn, you have been known to be a little too set in your ways. But while you may be biased toward your own point of view, you are always honest, fair, and ethical. With friends: You are outgoing and open to anyone who might want to talk to you In love: You are picky but passionate To achieve more balance: Be less judgmental of those around you, and take cool walks in the moonlight.

What's Your Dosha?

you are the moon

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

i feel great

Sometimes ya just gotta...

have a blog about the insanity... is it wrong that I find this hilarious?

at a loss for words

Your Vocabulary Score: A

Congratulations on your multifarious vocabulary! You must be quite an erudite person.

How's Your Vocabulary?

why do you ask?

1. What are your siblings' middle names? in birth order: Ann, Jane & Marie

2. What was the last CD you purchased? John Legend--Once Again, I got it Saturday afternoon because I had to go to school to work on my grades. It was good motivation.

3. Did you like it? I loved it!!!!!!!

4. Is it the kind of music you would call your favorite? Well, no, actually I never think of myself as much of a R&B fan, but this is very retro-sounding. I loved the first single--Save Room--when I saw him perform it on Oprah and then I heard Show Me (which is currently my MySpace profile song) and loved it so much I couldn't wait to get the album!

5. What songs remind you of your siblings? My oldest sister makes me think of the Evita Broadway recording... probably Don't Cry For Me Argentina... I am reminded of my next sister when I hear church Karoake songs... and I am reminded of the sister closest in age to me when I hear Torn--that song was just getting overexposed when I went to visit her in California and we laughed because it played on every station all the time and we knew that because we kept switching stations!

Veteran's Day

This was made by a student, but I'm having a hard time finding even a UserName or what school or any information.

who's the parent?

So, today was parent teacher conference day and I had about one-third the "customers" that I normally do. I wonder if that means something.

One was especially interesting, the boy is not passing my class and the mother was trying to blame his modifications, so I pulled them out of my desk and went through them with her--nice try, but the blame doesn't lay with me not giving the kid as many chances to be successful as I can. In all honesty, the kid doesn't want to be at school and is lazy as all get-out. There's nothing I can do to make American Studies any more interesting than I already do.

It seems like it's never the parents I need to see who come, anyhow.


One very nice thing was when a mother stopped in to tell me how much her daughter thinks of me and how I have truly saved her daughter's life. She came w-a-y out of her way to talk to me and it meant a lot. The mom got emotional talking about it. And another parent got choked up when I talked about his son's outstanding performance in class.

Anyhow, I could ramble on a lot but instead I'll stop.

What if this is as good as it gets?

this is to have succeeded

This quote reminds me of me, it captures my hopes and dreams almost exactly.

I had a doctor's appointment this morning and will still be taking the coumadin. I had such hopes that today would be the day I got to stop taking it. No such luck. I am very disappointed. January will come soon enough... I hope!

And, I did gulp before I said anything, but we're going to start treating my OCD symptoms. I was amazed that my doctor could put her finger on how it manifests in me. She knows me well. At this time, she didn't suggest a psych consultation. We're going to try medications but if in two weeks' time there isn't some improvement, then we'll discuss the consult.

After that doctor, I had therapy and was able to process a lot of what's going on. Like "the letter" I wrote to my family and how they are responding (or not responding) to it. Interestingly enough, I have no expectations of how they would/will respond. I don't know how I would have responded. It was a good session. And I don't have a laundry list of small gripes, they are actual, legitimate gripes. My focus now is going to be practicing saying either "I am not able to do that at this time," or "I am unable to do that" without sounding defensive. We shall see how that little experiment goes.

I wish I felt back to normal. Have I ever felt normal? I guess maybe normal isn't the right word to use. I just wish I was back to me without all the internal drama. Without the internal pressure, without the chronic pain, without the anxiety, without the medications.

But thank you, Emerson, for so eloquently reminding me of my hopes and dreams. I want to laugh often and much... and all the rest of it.

what if this is as good as it gets?

Ten on Tuesday

Election day... yeah!

It's another election day and I couldn't be happier that it's over. Political ads, political phone calls, political signs, political mailings... ENOUGH already! I feel like I'm being bombarded by poor choices all around. Where are the good ones anymore? Negativity, slander, horrible speaking voices; right, wrong, right, left, independent, independent green... when did it get so complicated? More importantly, when did I stop caring?

In my twenty-three years as a voter I have missed one election. That was when I was living in Ireland and I forgot to get an absentee ballot. I vote faithfully. I vote my conscience. I love voting, I think it is a great privilege. But this year, I feel jaded by the process. I'm not especially interested in the issues. I'm not turned on by the candidates. Blah, it's just blah.

But, I won't miss the election because... well, for as much as I don't care and for as much as I'm not particularly interested, I would feel like a failure for not voting. I would feel the earth shift as the women who couldn't vote sighed sadly at my wasted opportunity. I feel as though I owe it to them to vote.

And so I'll review the ballot one more time. I'll check out the candidates one more time. I'll make up my mind and confirm how I think I will be voting. And it will be over for another year.

God bless America and all that jazz.

What if this is as good as it gets?

more hugs

Juan Mann was on Oprah. Yup. It happened! It was part of the show where she challenged the audience to use $1000 for someone/something else. The Free Hugs Campaign even found its way to Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juan_Mann

I need a nap

I had to go to school today to work on grades. Totally not a fun way to spend a Saturday afternoon, but with the program problems and the glitches and the bitching that will go on, I figured I would get as much done as I could today... to be ready for Monday. We'll see how the best laid plans work out.

I think the school was warmer today than it's been in weeks. Even though the blower wasn't on, there was heat. My room used to feel like the third circle of hell until the custodians got hyper-excited about it and did something weird, which makes the room icy. I could see my breath on Monday, last. The student teacher even whined and complained about it. I think that's a bit ballsy as it was her first day and she doesn't know much about me.

Anyhow, I'm wiped out. Completely exhausted. I need a nap. It feels weird to nap in the evening, though. I always think I should just go to bed. But I'm not ready for bed, I'm ready for a nap. Naps are good.


I know part of why I'm so tired is because if the emotional roller coaster I'm on. Hormones, medications, near-death experiences, OCD, denial, guilt, shame... all of it. I did sit down and write the most difficult email I've ever written to my family, to explain where I am and what's going on with me. I am waiting to hear from them-- so far Dad has emailed some wonderful words of wisdom and support. I just need everyone to know that I'm not a danger to myself. Trust me, if I was suicidal I would have done it by now. But I know I can feel better and that I will eventually feel better. Chronic pain is so tiring. There is no escape, no distraction. Dad said he thought my sisters would have a very hard time reading the email, it was raw and powerful. But it's me. Hopefully, when I see the doctor next week I will get some answers and maybe set up an action plan for pain management.

And it might mean taking a sabbatical. Who knows. We've kicked the idea around at lunch time but I am uncomfortable with it. Maybe I just don't know enough about it. But the stressful environment is really taking a toll not only on me, but on all my colleagues. We're all so stressed out that there is no one to ask for help without increasing their burden. Bah. I think the Union is looking into some action. They seem to think there is some grievable stuff going on.

It's hard to explain to people outside the education field. But my job is actually to teach children. What they're demanding from us is not enhancing my performance as a teacher. Nothing I'm doing outside the classroom right now is at all helping me become better at what I already am good at. It's frustrating. In my experience in the work world (which hasn't all been in education), people generally have a system in place so that while the worker is focused on a task outside their job description, they have time to work outside that description. But not teachers. I'm expected to do my job and do all the outside stuff. And I don't think getting paid more money would make it any better, although I will save my rant for how poorly teachers in Northern Maine are paid for some other time.

I think, now that I'm wound up... I will listen to my new John Legend CD and take a bubble bath before napping.

What if this is as good as it gets?

I want a cookie

Today hasn't been the best of days. My therapist thinks I need medication for OCD. I don't want to admit my obsessive/compulsive thinking is getting the better of me, but I find when I don't do my rituals I am very "off" for the day. I had a bit of a break down/break through in therapy. And it's so hard for me to ask for help and support. I am so very hard on myself. I was validated in group this evening, though, and they were very helpful in talking things through, asking clarifying questions and such. I don't have my act together and I need people to get that. Just because I make it look easy doesn't mean it is easy. Nothing is easy.



My sister and her husband would like to stay with me (sleeping on the living room floor on an air mattress) and the thought of having people here with me is causing such great anxiety that my stomach is even more churned than the Coumadin special.

I want a cookie.

hugs all around...

I will admit I'm a bit of a hugaholic. There is nothing as wonderful as a hug. Really, I can't think of many ways of interacting with other people that mean as much to me as a hug. A good hug. Not a wimpy, limpy hug. A real, meaningful hug. Sharing body space.

One way that I say goodbye to my classes for a holiday is, "Hugs all around." It makes us all happy. I sign off group emails by saying that. I truly am a hugger.

This video makes me so happy. Maybe this will be what my sociology students do next spring for their Norms Violations project.