a bit of explanation...

So, ok, lemme 'splain about my health issues: June 2006 I was diagnosed with pulmonary emboli (blood clots in both my lungs). The right lung had a golf-ball sized clot and a couple smaller ones and the left lung had two golf-ball sized clots and six or so other smaller ones. I was hospitalized (for the first time in my whole life) for a week and after that was on a very high dose of blood thinners which created a whole other slew of side effects and issues.

I also have costochondritis (inflammation and swelling of the joints that connect the rib cage to the sternum). Actually, I never presented symptoms of pulmonary emboli, other than fatigue, I was presenting with the costochondritis symptoms. I have dislocated the ribs by moving some heavy stuff and lifting some stuff, which is typical of the costochondritis and mind-blowingly painful. Pretty much every movement we make in the course of a typical day involves twisting or pressure on the rib cage. Every time I re-injure or overstress my ribcage it sets the recovery process back a bit. So far it seems that 8 pounds is my limit--and for the most part I have to use both hands.

So, tie this in with my life-long issues, especially my inability to ask for help. I've had to ask for help and I've had to rely on others to help me. More importantly I have had to let go of control--I've had to accept my limitations and acknowledge that I can only do what I can do... and be ok with it. And that's very difficult for me. I've relied only on myself for so long that to have to open up and ask for help is tough.

Through the course of all this, I have been unable to exercise or strength train. fortunately, before my hospitalization i was in the best shape of my life and had lost (and kept off) over sixty pounds. Since then, it's all back. gah. And more. Talk about adding insult to injury.

But I know what I need to do and can and will do it again. It's a slow process but it is a process.
Ask away if I haven't explained things well enough. There are a couple more detailed blog posts about it from late June/July 2006.

The End.

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