Back in the saddle again...

Writing this note after the end of my fourth day of school. Today was the first day I didn't sneak a nap in, I wanted to see how I would manage without. I did ok, I am bone tired but still functioning. And the verge of vomit feeling is no worse, which helps.

Last week I had my annual physical and follow up appointment for the pulmonary emboli. Looks like the news is relatively promising--it won't get worse! But, as of now, I don't know if it will get better. I am still taking a high dose of coumadin and probably will be at this dose for six months. At that time, a reevaluation will be done to see if I need to continue with the blood thinners or if I can stop taking them. I hope I can stop taking them, the side effects are unpleasant and I would love to whine about it, but I'll spare you.

Right now my only discomfort is from costochondritis. Everyone at school has been more than helpful doing things for me. I explained the situation to all of my students so that in case something happens they will have been warned and will have a clue what to do. A couple of classes made their own contingency plan--who'll do what to help, if necessary. How cute. It was good to tell them, though, to set the stage for needing help with ridiculously simple tasks, and explains why I take the elevator. I really hate the elevator. But I don't feel so guilty asking them to carry books or move desks. Today I even needed someone to open and close my heavy bottom desk drawer--usually I close it with my legs, by pushing, but I can't brace my upper body. Hey, I'm asking for help! I've got a couple of kids who offer to help, too.

I think this is the most relaxed I've ever been starting the school year. The zen-like mantra of "I can only do what I can do" helps keep me focused on doing the things I can do. I suppose it makes me feel better to know everyone is starting the year a bit behind the 8-ball because of our three-hour training session on the new rank book program that seemed to cause more problems and raise more questions than it answered. Three hours? What is up with that? We had days of Pinnacle training. Oh well, I keep saying my mantra and letting go of the little things.

And so far, so good. Most of my afternoon classes are on the large size which annoys me, but my morning class is nice and small. Very personalized instruction for them. So far, everyone has been so nice and friendly. I've got some good vibes going in the classroom and my relaxed attitude is helping set a good tone for the year. I haven't been troubled by anxiety--when I think back to a year ago, and what a wreck I was then... this is like icing on the chocolate cake.

And, tomorrow is casual day! Here goes the shallowness--all hail vanity!

What if this is as good as it gets? What if, what if, what if?