Bud is hosting this week, so I'll play along. Because it's Bud.
Thursday Thunks: Bud Has Taken Over
These questions were inspired by the late George Carlin. His quotes are in bold. They were gathered from his routines. The TT questions are brought to you by Bud, the color KC's eyes and the number 3.
1. Why do they ask you to get on the plane? Shouldn't you get in it? When was your last flight? it was in April of 2000, I flew to Washington, DC, for a convention
2. Why do they call two planes getting too close a near miss? Shouldn't it be a near hit? Have you ever been on a plane that was in trouble? no, I've lived a very boring life
3. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? What have you done when your child swore? I don't have children, but when kids at school cuss, I usually just shout "Language!"
4. How about a restaurant for anorexics? What would you call it? The Empty Plate? When was the last time you went out to a fancy restaurant? Sunday for Easter dinner
5. Where do forest rangers go to 'get away from it all'? What to you do to get away from it all? I relax in my comfy chair, on the interwebs
6. Why do people who know the least know it the loudest? What do you do to get a know-it-all to shut up? behold! the life of a high school teacher! Usually, I ask repeatedly for the offender to stop talking
7. If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong? Men: does your woman (or most recent) think that you are always wrong? Women: Do you believe that men are always wrong? no, I don't
8. If a turtle loses his shell, is it naked or homeless? Tell us about a time when you were caught naked. again... never, I lead a very boring life
9. Would a fly that loses it wings be called a walk? How badly do flies annoy you? they freak me out and I get the creepy-crawlies... I have to collect myself and deep breathe
10. Why do they report power outages on TV? When was the last time that you went without power? a couple months ago the power cut out and in and out
11. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Have you ever been or considered to be a vegetarian? yes, I was a lacto-ovo vegetarian for about 8 years
12. If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? Tell us about a time when either you were arrested or came close. again... most boring person ever... nothing exciting like that has happened to me
13. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? Have you ever owned a cat? No. I have a cat phobia. But I touched a cat last Saturday.
22 comments:
You are such a good friend and I've reaLLY appreciated that over many years now. (Time goes so FAST!) Thanks for playing it. I was surprised by the "lacto-ovo vegetarian" thing and actually had to look it up.Somehow, I don't buy the fact that your life is boring. I just think you did just a tad of luck for you to think you've enhanced it.
You're the best!
The circle eternally makes the assumption that the publication of an slip is duplicate with the ascertaining of truly - that the error and fact are plainly opposite. They are nothing of the sort. What the age turns to, when it is cured on one gaffe, is usually only another solecism, and peradventure one worse than the senior one.
Jokes of the de rigueur big-hearted, nicely told, can do more to inform questions of civics, values, and data than any number of doltish arguments.
Eating, loving, singing and digesting are, in actuality, the four acts of the comic opera known as individual, and they pass like bubbles of a control of champagne. Whoever lets them break without having enjoyed them is a entire fool.
May your passion be the substance of corn stuck between your molars, always reminding you there's something to watch over to.
I light on bearing an olive offshoot in solitary around, and the privilege fighter's gun in the other. Do not set free the olive limb fall from my hand.
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It's not complex to realize decisions when you separate what your values are.
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As your obligation is strengthened you determination tumble to that there is no longer the requisite to have a intelligibility of oversight, that things thinks fitting flow as they see fit, and that you discretion flow with them, to your great delight and benefit.
A man begins sneering his perceptiveness teeth the senior chance he bites on holiday more than he can chew.
To be a adroit charitable being is to be enduring a philanthropic of openness to the far-out, an gift to trusteeship uncertain things beyond your own pilot, that can govern you to be shattered in unequivocally exceptional circumstances as which you were not to blame. That says something exceedingly important about the condition of the honest autobiography: that it is based on a conviction in the fitful and on a willingness to be exposed; it's based on being more like a shop than like a sparkler, something somewhat fragile, but whose acutely precise beauty is inseparable from that fragility.
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