ten things tuesday

Ten nevers...

1) Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with something bigger and heavier. ~Anonymous [Groucho Marx?]

2) Never accept a drink from a urologist. -Erma Bombeck

3) Never say anything on the phone that you wouldn't want your mother to hear at your trial. -Sydney Biddle Barrows, the "Mayflower Madam"

4) Never say "Oops" in the operating room. - Dr. Leo Troy

5) Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words "large" or "size" with "rear end". -- -- Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me. -Tim Allen

6) Never invoke the gods unless you really want them to appear. It annoys them very much. -G.K. Chesterton

7) Never play peekaboo with a child on a long plane trip. There's no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by the bib and said, "Look, it's always gonna be me!" -Rita Rudner

8) Never stand between a dog and the hydrant. -John Peers

9) Never take a job where winter winds can blow up your pants. -Geraldo Rivera

10) Never give up. And never, under any circumstances, face the facts. –Ruth Gordon