Today was my last individual appointment with my therapist, Dr. Lisa, before she closes her practice. I was nervous because I didn't know what to expect or how to act or anything--goodbyes stink regardless of the situation. And the relationship between therapist and patient is a special bond, if it's a good fit and there is good rapport--both of which I have with Dr. Lisa.
We were discussing my progress and I said how interesting I always think the sessions are. That it sometimes takes a couple of days for me to process and "get" what we talked about but that when it clicks it's a big click.
I finally decided to not find someone else right now. We decided that I am in a very good, healthy place right now that, although she would never say "don't get therapy," that I'm in a good place to take a break. And I think I know myself well enough to know when to get help if I get stuck on an issue or need more direct help with OCD.
That was a big click--when I finally researched OCD and realized what a significant part of my daily life it is. My coping skills and obtrusive thinking is so dramatically improved since the big click.
She remembered how traumatized I was when I began the journey--and I was but I'll save all that for another post--and has enjoyed working with me because I've been so open to the process, and how I would ask for "assignments" to help me focus during the week between sessions.
For two years and a half I have spent about an hour a week in individual treatment, then we cut back to every two weeks and finally every three weeks during the past six months. It's given shape to my schedule and will seem weird to not keep appointments in the back of my mind when I plan out other meetings. Two more group sessions and it's really all over. The end of Therapy Thursday.
It's the hardest thing I've ever done. It's the best thing I've ever done. By far the best thing I've ever done for myself and I wish everyone could have the same kind of experience and fit.
On the one hand, I'm sad to say goodbye; on the other hand, I'm happy to close this chapter and be well enough to move on.
Oh, sure, there's still much for me to work on. I think I've got a plan, though, and will get the support and help I need along the way.
What if this is as good as it gets?
2 comments:
((((((Sunshine))))))
I'm SOOOOO proud of you. Love you bunches too! :)
I totally understand. I really do. I've had to leave 2 good therapists due to changing schools (and regions). It's scary at first to not have her, but she taught me so many good things. I had a good break from therapy. I'm in it now, but for completely different things.
Good for you for being peaceful about all of it!
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