retail therapy... cus there's no other kind

I must stop shopping online. Seriously. I bought a dress for graduation

and a scooter

And... there's another skirt I'm eyeballing...


It's disappointing to me that I have regained (plus extra) all the weight (plus extra) that I worked so hard to lose (did I mention the extra?). I know what I need to do to lose it again, but... holy moly... I'm just not ready to do all the work and change my lifestyle again.

I was thinking about Weight Watchers. They are offering a free registration until the end of May. I should rejoin. I can't imagine eating all that food again, though. Silly that eating all that food is what's keeping me from joining. But it is more than I have been eating for the past... oh, let's call it nine months.

I don't like the way I feel right now. And I am very disappointed that all my cute clothes do not fit. I hate spending money on bigger clothes. But, I can't very well go naked. So, it's better to spend some money on clothes that fit well and will look good than to suffer.

Today has been an emotional day. Not just because there was no therapy/group again this week, but, I had a kind of awkward/confrontational conversation with someone who's important to me. And I cried. But I'm so glad we talked and I'm glad I am not just imagining that there is a distance between us--because there is a distance between us. The difference is now we can articulate what's going on and start to rebuild.

After my emotions got the better of me this morning, I was able to put it in perspective by the end of the day. I even popped my head back in after school to give an acknowledgement and thanks for starting the conversation.

We've all been so stressed and so wrapped up in our own experience that we forget what it is we enjoy about our work. And sometimes I forget how much I enjoy what I do. When it's all about the students it is wonderful. When it's all the other crap, all the committees, all the paperwork, all of that nonsense... well, it's crappy.

So, time for bed. Time to think about maybe buying that third skirt.

what if this is as good as it gets?

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