The Top 5 Super Powers Most Coveted by Dogs

5. AntiPsych-Out -- Immunity to all that "fake throw" nonsense.

4. VacuCalm -- Utter self control whenever the vacuum cleaner is turned on.

3. GucciTract -- An invincible digestive system that sustains itself entirely on designer shoes.

2. King Fido's Touch -- Everything you touch turns into crap.

and the Number 1 Super Power Most Coveted by Dogs...

1. DoberMorph -- Ability to change into a Doberman any time someone rolls up a newspaper.