4.06.2008

students challenged to go complaint-free

Third- and fourth-graders at Raymond Elementary try to learn how to communicate positively.
By ANN S. KIM Staff Writer
April 6, 2008

RAYMOND — There are plenty of things in an elementary school student's life that can be irksome: a sister playing her flute too loudly; an overcooked burger; an untimely request to walk the dog; or a shoelace that's become untied.

A group of third- and fourth-graders at Raymond Elementary School helped compile that list, but they aren't complaining. At least, they're trying not to for 21 straight days.

The students wear purple wristbands as a reminder of their goal to refrain from complaining – as well as whining and gossiping – for that period of time. If they slip up, they move the wristband from one arm to the other. And start counting again from zero.

It sounds simple, but it isn't so easy.

"This is only, like, my ninth day. It's really hard sometimes," said Anna Laprise, a fourth-grader who expected it would take more than one complaint-free stretch to break the habit.

Several dozen students in a leadership program are part of the challenge for now. On Wednesday, it will be extended to the rest of the third and fourth grades.

The idea for the challenge originated in 2006 with a pastor in Kansas City, Mo. Wanting to encourage the habit of gratitude in his congregation at Christ Church Unity, the Rev. Will Bowen asked them to go without complaining for 21 days.

Now a nonprofit organization called A Complaint Free World distributes the wristbands and related materials. According to the group, more than 5 million of the rubbery bracelets have been shipped to people in more than 80 countries. About three-quarters of the orders are from individuals, with the rest going to schools, churches and businesses.

The group developed a curriculum for schools about a month ago. It's not clear how many schools are using it – anyone can download the curriculum material from the organization's Web site – but more than 500 schools have ordered a package that includes a copy of Bowen's book, "A Complaint Free World," and bracelets.

Third-grade teacher Martha Spencer introduced the idea to Raymond Elementary. She was on the treadmill when she saw a segment on "The Oprah Winfrey Show."

"I just thought, 'What a positive thing,'" she said.

Spencer thinks the challenge will help students develop important communication skills. Instead of complaining, they will have to articulate what they want in a positive way, she said.

Or, as fourth-grader Greg Meader explained, when his sister is at risk of interfering with his reading, he doesn't complain. Instead, he lets her know, "I want to read because this book is really good."

School staff were the first to try it, starting on Valentine's Day. It wasn't easy for the adults, either. None made it through 21 days on the first attempt.

Principal Norma Richard, who has been able to go for about four days without complaining, said the challenge has served as a reminder of the power of words – and of setting a good example for children who are always watching.

"It's never just saying it, it's really living it. They pay attention to it," she said.

The rest of the third- and fourth-graders will learn more about the challenge at a meeting. The students already involved will perform a skit and teachers will receive materials to distribute.

Spencer said teachers will be asked to consider incorporating a 15-minute challenge-related lesson in their weekly plans and asking students about it during their morning classroom meetings.

Fourth-grader Lexi Walker expects there will be less temptation to complain when the other students join in.

"Sometimes when other people complain," she observed, "you want to complain."

No comments: